I always begin by telling my clients that whilst Couple Counselling is of course about your relationship, it is also an amazing journey of self-discovery that runs parallel to learning about your relationship.
It’s kind of a three in one journey. Getting to know why well established and habitual patterns have developed in your relationship over time helps you make sense of your moves in your relationship dance. Think of your last argument, who left the room, who had the last word, who shut down and who wanted to have it out. We tend to make the same moves over and over. How, when and why we reach for contact or how, when and why we retreat or shut down becomes a habitual way of relating.
But running alongside the relationship counselling is the individual journey you each take.
Learning to be kind to yourself and your partner
You will learn about why each of you responds the way you do which increases empathy and understanding of yourself, this often comes as such a relief as sometimes people have been feeling a failure or inadequate in some way. It helps you to be gentle and kind with yourself as the journey unfolds.
You are unique, shaped by the family you grew up in and the life experiences you have had along the way. These experiences wire up our nervous system so that when we reach for contact with our special other person in a certain way. We also respond to our special person in a particular way depending on how they reach for us.
When you gain awareness and insight in to yourself, it allows you to know and understand yourself on a level that enriches you as an individual and supports your growth as well as strengthening your relationship. How great is that?